Sorry, people, for abandoning you all. I returned, and found the following unfinished draft of 1.5 years ago. Apparently I am in a somewhat better place, because its sheer misery actually made me laugh out loud a bit.
In June 2022, I wrote:
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Perhaps an update is in place. Not only has it been so long that I forgot what most of the outstanding goals are, my life has taken a turn for the utterly sucky.
In the last half year:
– my boyfriend of 8 years dumped me one month after moving to the new house
– he went travelling through Europe for an unknown period of time and took the dog with him
– I struggled to finish my thesis in time to start a new job, and in the end had to continue on without any breaks
– I had to sell the car
– I am still spending most of my weekends either working in the house (always painting…) or finishing up projects associated with the thesis.
I’m not having a good time. I am not good at being single. I’m lonely and stressed and I haven’t been
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So… that bad boy (the above) had apparently been sitting in my drafts since June 2022. I think this must have been the exact moment I abandoned my blog, and judging by that unfinished post, I can see how my mindset was not quite right to carry on blogging.
Though I hardly ever kept one, I love diaries. They’re so insightful. That draft was so insightful. For example, most of the issues from then have been resolved, but I’m kind of in the same headspace – although admittedly, much more relaxed.
I’ve obtained the Ph.D, quit that job, sold that house, found a new job in Italy, moved abroad, and every four months me and my ex exchange George (the dog, basically professional Euro tripper by now). I still don’t have a car, which I don’t mind, considering how the Milanese drive. I still have one project of the Ph.D research to finalize, but no big life plans depend on it. I now have free time in most of my weekends.
However! What does still ring mostly true, unfortunately and somewhat inexplicably, is that last line.
”I’m not having a good time. I am not good at being single. I’m lonely and stressed and I haven’t been”
I feel like I shouldn’t even finish that last line, because its open ending illustrates my ~search~ for ~something~ . So, despite the passing of all that time and all the things that happened during that time, the ‘About’ page still holds true.
Since my situation (a.k.a. entire life) has changed quite dramatically since my previous posts, I’ll probably have to recalibrate my plans in terms of things to try out. Frankly, I’ve been busy and down lately, which has not been inspiring by any means. As a result, I haven’t got anything specific on my mind. So, any suggestions for whimsical adventures or new skills to learn -particularly if Italy-related- are welcome!
Meanwhile, I made the switch to Substack – any updates can be found there: please subscribe to my Substack: eatclaylove.substack.com!
THE POINT WAS... 